


Leave the Room but You Get Caught in the Rain

by spectrawaves



Series: These Plates They Smash Like Waves [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Aftermath, Angst and Tragedy, Dead Allison Argent, Gen, Past Allison Argent/Scott McCall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:00:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25644697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spectrawaves/pseuds/spectrawaves
Summary: Ths absolute worst thing about people being dead is that you're not. You're alive and you have to figure out what to do after.
Relationships: Allison Argent & Scott McCall, Allison Argent/Isaac Lahey
Series: These Plates They Smash Like Waves [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1945249
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Leave the Room but You Get Caught in the Rain

**Author's Note:**

> This is really fuckin sad. I cried when I wrote it. I have a lot of feelings about Allison's death I have since I watched the episode but I thought about how awful it must've been to have to deal with someone dying because you have to make arrangements and suddenly I'd written 1000 words about it.

The worst thing about people being dead--the absolute worst--is the fact that you're alive. You're alive and they arent and because you're alive and they aren't, you have to make arrangements. 

You have to tell people they're dead. You have to make phone call after phone call, relaying the message until about four calls in, you've said it so many times you have the arrangement of the words perfected. You have it so well rehearsed that you distance yourself further with every phone call. 

You stare down at their body and you distance. 

So yeah, the absolute worst thing about Allison being dead is that she can just be dead while Scott is stuck being alive and dealing with the monotonous, normal things death brings. 

Scott has to repeat a cover story over and over again, Chris forcing him through it, forcing him to recite it back, again and again until Scott knows he's never going to forget it. 

_ I saw a knife; you think you saw a knife, don't get specific _ . 

And then he has to let Isaac go when he leaves with Chris, has to let Isaac seek comfort in someone who isn't Scott because Isaac doesn't have anything with Scott. 

Isaac doesn't  _ owe _ anything to Scott. 

And then he has to call his mom; he has to call his mom and has to listen to his own voice being too far away and too level and too detached, telling her  _ Allison's dead; Allison died; the oni got her with a sword; it was so fast I couldn't do anything; mom I couldn't do anything. _ And his mom lets him feel it, just for a few minutes while he's on the phone with her, and then he has to hang up. 

He has to call more people, has to call Derek and Ethan and Danny and Braeden, hell, he even tries calling Jackson because Scott doesn't want him to find out late and think, _ why didn't anyone tell me? _ But Jackson doesn't pick up and Scott can't leave a voicemail just to say  _ Allison's dead, _ so he doesn't, he just says he needs to talk to Jackson, says  _ call me back _ like there's nothing wrong at all because Scott is still so distant. 

After he calls everyone he can think of--the school and even just people they'd known in passing; picking up her phone and calling anyone whose name he even halfway recognizes--he calls Stiles' dad. No, he calls the  _ Sheriff, _ he calls to  _ report a body. _ Because he doesn't know what else to do and Chris is with Isaac and besides that Scott doesn't want to make him go through this again. Some petulant part of him keeps repeating  _ that's not fair, this isn't fair, why him? _ Because less than a year ago, Chris buried  _ his wife, _ and now he'd have to bury his daughter and Scott just… 

Doesn't want to make him deal with that. At least for a little while. 

But of course that means that Scott is dealing with it and he doesn't actually know how to deal with it so he calls the Sheriff because the Sheriff knows what to do and Scott doesn't.

Scott watches Allison's body get taken away in a black bag and doesn't know what he expects himself to feel, but he just feels numb. He wants to feel a jolt of anger, a stab of grief, but he just--can't. 

He doesn't have it in him. 

Noah tells him to go home, tells him he's got it from here, and Scott wants to break down then and there, wants to cry and crumple to his knees and fucking _ scream. _

But he doesn't. 

He calls his mom again, asks  _ can you come get me _ in the smallest voice he's ever heard himself have because the only car left here in this fucking  _ place  _ is Allison's and he can't even  _ look  _ at it. And his mom--he can hear her stifle a noise, a sob or a pained breath, or  _ something _ and she comes to get him. 

She comes to get him in the car Scott spent so much time in with Allison that her scent has saturated the seats in the back; the  _ lilac-lavender-earth-rain _ scent of her worked so far in he's sure it won't ever come out. And it's not his mom's fault but he cracks the window open, finding it a little more bearable that way despite the biting chill of the wind whipping through the car. His mom doesn't say anything and Scott doesn't know if he appreciates it or not. 

When he gets home his mom sits him at the kitchen table and tries to get him to eat something but he just  _ can't _ and after a few more unsuccessful attempts she abandons the mission and instead just sits next to him, lets him bury his head in her shoulder, and cry. 

And he cries. He cries, giving wounded, lupine whines every couple breaths because he can't fucking  _ help it _ because  _ Allison's dead; she died _ and it doesnt matter how much he'd said it, it really doesn't, because before it had been nothing, barely anything at all, to say it. He'd just said it, said the words  _ Allison's dead; Allison died _ and hadn't felt any of it because he'd been delivering a fact. But now he feels it. He feels how dead she is. 

And it's not fair because maybe he'd still been waiting for her, a little bit. Maybe he'd  _ always _ be waiting for her. And it's not fair because she'd been 18 years old and she'd had her whole life ahead of her and Scott had been just  _ seconds _ too late in giving it to her. 

And it feels like something in him is dying. It feels like some part of him is withering and rotting and decaying in his chest because  _ Allison's dead _ and he's not. 

Allison's dead and he isn't. 

And, honestly, that's the worst part of people dying. 

When people die, you have to keep living. You have to deliver the news by going through every single one of her contacts--feeling a pang when you see that she never deleted  _ Mom  _ from the list--and calling anyone you can think of. You have to come up with a cover story. And then you have to defeat a  _ fucking demon  _ and save your best friend, who has the same shadows of guilt and despair in his eyes that you  _ know  _ are reflected in yours,  _ knowing  _ with every part of your soul that none of you will  _ ever  _ be the same and then you have to  _ bury her.  _

And then you have to live. You have to wake up  _ every day _ and go to school, and go to work, and eat breakfast, and dinner, and do your homework, and buy groceries, and make small talk. You have to live your life while she's buried in a grave someone you know once would've dug; someone who loved her maybe as much as you did. Someone who won't talk to you no matter how many times you reach out. 

You have to live your life like you can't still see the moment the light went out of her eyes in vivid detail; like you don't dream about making it to her just in the knick of time and pulling her away just enough to save her and then wake up and live with the absolutely  _ crushing _ weight of suddenly realizing again that she's dead, because you were just  _ seconds _ too late, but for just _one night_ you hadn't been.

And, god, what good is being an alpha--a  _ true alpha,  _ for whatever the fuck  _ that's _ worth--if Scott's always going to be a few seconds too late? 

What good is being what he is when Allison is dead, and he isn't? 

What the  _ fuck _ is the point of that?

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize formally for hurting you, but I hope you leave with something from this, though I wouldn't be able to say what


End file.
